It could go so wrong, just like this tense table depicted by the beloved Roz Chast. This one could be The Last Thanksgiving, but I have a suggestion: Cider to the rescue!
For the gluten avoiders, go cider!
No salt in cider, done.
No lactose, either, by golly.
Vegetarians eat fruit, and drink it too.
No animal products in cider.
Fanatic traditionalist, this is your wheelhouse.
On a cleanse, a sour cider!
Strictly kosher, hmmmm.
Ultra-picky gourmet, in the bag.
This doesn't even address how perfectly cider pairs with the many Thanksgiving dishes, from salty to sweet, heavy to airy. Cider is the perfect accompaniment to the long meal -- light, sessionable, and heck, it'll keep the family together!
Read more about Roz Chast in this New Yorker article